t h e r e m i n i s c e n t s t a r - -
v2.o -star.
thereminiscentstar .
portia jolene ; posh * lene * (:
LALAPOLYPOCKETCHOONG ;
going 19 .
nafa svaf .
attached . =)
they call me starshine ; tinkerbell ; queenLALA*
191286
broken; and worthless .
hyper .
not what i seem to be .
tend to lose myself in thoughts .
daydreamerr .
sadistic .
black ; hotpeenk ; orange ; white ; purple .
lamee . extremely at times .
comforts people ; but yearns comfort from friends .
cynical .
imperfect .
stubborn .
bossy .
extremely fragile ;
has a soft mushy heart .
am redundant whereever i am . =)
yearns to fly *
je'taime .
the Man Up there . =))
him. =D
churchies .
EEYOREE !
monokuro boo .
cinnamoroll .
starrs .
my telescope . also known as my WIFE . =]
butterflies .
qing tian wawa .
windmills .
carousels .
dancing .
clubbing .
esplanade .
east coast .
southern most point .
changi airport .
marina south .
to be a unique !
blowing bubbles .
jewellery making . =D
taking black&white photographs .
photoshopp !
princess .
cousins shannon&jamie !
sad songs .
piano ; sax ; guitar . (but can't play any)
Sunday, March 14, 2004
i cannot believe it. *mutters to self. oh WELL. just talking to myself.. =x oops? haha.
i'm gonna be gone in about 24 hours time.. ha. on a plane. over to a place filled with bittersweet memories. even more bittersweet than those i'm living in right now.. caught the ball? didn't? well.. too bad. =\
going back there would be something.. i never thought i'll do willingly. but i did. and well. i guess. i'm surprised at my own actions really. *nods. and also. yeah. i've decided to.. let the dreaming end. tmr. let it be the last time.. i'll cry. think. miss. want. reminiscise. (?) and things related to that. tomorrow shall be the day.. i'll have my one last cry. guess i'll prolly end up spending the remains of the week crying TOO. but oh well. you know me. haha. still.. i'll try my VERY best to do so. something i wanna do for myself. for once. to be strong once again. despite how tiring it is? i rather be who i WAS den who i am now. cos it hurts. really hurts. big time. so bad. i can't take it sometimes. sighs*
silent agony. =)
i've been thinking a whole lot today.. by passed MANY of the used-to-be spots.. and memories were flashing back. and i realised. those were happy times really. so why should i be so sad? maybe the true meaning of don't be sad cause its over but be happy that it even happened in the first place.. is beginning to dawn upon me. haha. i mean. okay. i admit i've used it kazillions of times to comfort others. but i guess. this is a good example of one not applying to one's advice for others? lolx. =x hmm. sigh* am beginning to cheer up slowly la. yeah.. and i'm going back to church tmr! =) so yeah. things to look forward to. i hope. mixed emotions regarding that. somehow. i suppose.
blerghs. me and my tons of assumptions. reasons. and excuses of all sorts. =x bleah. ha.. yeah. bugis. east coast. rayne's house. *HER house. cine. town. that stretch of road we walked.. all the way from town to ms. so my mind was going.. *play.. stop.. play.. stop..* the whole time.. was pretty much dazed.. felt kinda choked up. but nope. i didn't cry. didn't shed a tear. =)
went drinking with gen. but i didn't talk much. and neither did she. i wonder what's gonna happened over there. what's it gonna be like. things feels strange between us. and i don't like that somehow? maybe i'm just too used to her being the chirpy cheerful always fooling around gen whenever i'm down. but yeah. i guess things change. and after all. it is due to me. that all these is happening. so.. yeah. my bad.
i'm actually surprised? that she actually wanted to go along. and well. insisted as a matter of fact? so.. yeap. mum doesn't want people SENDING my off. and well. maybe in a sense i don't want them to either. makes me feel like i'm never coming back. and i don't like that. neither do i wanna be crying at the airport really. sighs* so those who know where i'm heading off to. please keep it as a hush hush alrights? i would very much appreciate it. =) oh. and in any case. i'm not gonna be having my phone for the time being? so if there's anything. just feel free to leave a voicemail.. and i'll TRY to get back to you asap alrights? i do check for new voice messages everyday.. =P
yeah.. i'm looking foraward to my little cousin shannon's arrival! haha. think my aunt's gonna give birth bout april to may? oohh! i can hardly wait! but uh. i still hope my aunt will not choose her name as shannon? sounds so.... puppy-ish. don't ask me WHY. long story man. lol. yay. i miss darling niece. omg. that cutie. haven't seen her in kazillion years. what if she forgot about me!? alright. i'm lame. *bluh.
=) life doesn't suck actually. at least i've still got my dearest darling pl and bestie! =)) *muahs to denyse the bestie. i miss the rest too. but i feel redundant somehow.. so i've been under the -loner- and "i'm isolating myself" kinda situation. lolx. i shall not elaborate cause i don't think all of them need another case to juggle with. =) hopefully i'm be back to my old self again when i'm back? smile.
;elysium.
12:11:00 AM
eternitywithYOU.
Zen Neeon .
new laptop .
Christian Dior - Dolce Vita .
Corrinne May's 2 albums .
Plumb's albums .
Dishwalla's albums .
Nicholas Spark's books .
Levis 501 & Diva Jeans .
Chronicles of Narnia .
a new starglobe . =|
my daisy rock star bass .
